The Scarlet Letter
Volume II, Number 4 | May 1995
by Adam Walks Between Worlds
with insincere apologies to Jenny Joseph who wrote the original

When I am an old man I shall wear latex
With extra lube, a reservoir tip, and ribbed sides—for her pleasure
And I shall spend my pension on art, erotica and outright porno
And hot dates with crones, fat mamas and jail bait
And say I've no money for Prozac
I shall dress in fashions years before and not call it retro
And wink obstreperously at inappropriate moments
And stuff singles into g-strings at tittie bars on the bad side of town
I shall dance naked in the rain
Roll in other people's gardens
And talk like Clint Eastwood

You can wear lacy lingerie and pack on the cellulite
And eat two boxes of Godiva chocolates for dinner
Or mimosas and bloody marys and dry martinis for lunch
And place boosted knickknacks, stolen flowers and hand-crafted sigils
On your altar to Elvis

But now we must have practical clothes that conform to fashon
And pay blood taxes in protection to murderers and not say "Fuck"
And set a good example for the other fine citizens
Who populate our salons and soirees and pic-a-nics

But maybe I should practice a little now
So people might see that freedom is not slavery
Or that peace is not war
Or that responsibility is not obedience
And that an old man's molecular love for Goddess and her daughters
Is earthy and loamy and muddy and ruddy
But never, ever, ever dirty!
And then one day, who knows, I might even get old enough
Old enough to wear latex

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