The Scarlet Letter
Volume II, Number 4 | May 1995
The Star Bullwinkle
by Sr. Q.V.P.

Guaranteed to get the mooses out of your temple...

Sign of Antlers Sign of the Flying Squirrel

To be performed in the manner and attitude of the Star Ruby:


Facing East, touch the forehead and vibrate: Soi!

Draw the hand down the torso, and back up, ending with both thumbs at the temple, fingers spread, like antlers, and vibrate: O Aunteleres!

Touch the right shoulder: Big G!

And the left: Little O!

Clasp the hands together in front: CHEERIOS!


In the East, make the Sign of the Antlers (as above, thumbs at temple and fingers extended). Push forward into the sign of the Enterer, projecting an enormous set of flaming antlers in the east. Roar: BULLWINKLE!

Make the sign of Silence, and go to the north.
Repeat as before, but say: Rocket J!

Make the sign of Silence, and go to the west.
Repeat as befbre, but whisper: Natasha

Make the sign of Silence, and go to the south.
Repeat as before, but shout: Boris!

Make the sign of Silence and return to the center, facing east.


Make the signs as ye know them;

The Sign of Pan.

The Sign of Droppings (with the hands behind the back, rub the right foot on the ground as if scraping something from shoe).

The Sign of the Rodent (place two fingers of right hand against teeth, tips out, and wiggle them).

The Sign of Flying Squirrel (form circles with thumb and 1st finger of each hand. Hook remaining fingers under jaw, with palms towards face, and raise elbows so that the circles are over the eyes).

The Sign of the Moose (thumbs to temples, fingers outstretched into antlers).

With each sign, chant: MOOSE AND SQUIRREL!


Facing east, stretch arms to the side. Say the following:

Pro Mou Potsylvania!
Opicho Mou Frostbite Falls!
Epidexia Whatsamatta U!
Eperistera General Mills!

Pro mou phlege gar ton pente o aunteleres,
tai en kai stellae o aunteleres ton hex esteke!


Repeat section I, the Cross of the Moose.


Put right hand to mouth, then forcefully cast it down to the side and in back, proclaiming:

Apopontos Kaka Damn Moose!

< Back to Vol. II, No. 4 Cover